If you want to sell something to me, you need to talk to my wife. If you talk directly to me, I will say “no”, but if you talk to my wife, who then talks to me, I am likely say to “yes”. It raises the interesting point: that your marketing should not always be targeted at the person you want to sell to.

Great marketing does not require you to break down any doors. Rather it requires an understanding of how decisions are made naturally by the customer and then to inform those decisions in ways that tie in with how they buy. Your marketing should go with the flow!

Banks and cellphone companies are great at trying to bulldoze into your life with their latest offering. They stop the flow of your day, and interrupt it crudely with promotional calls. They do this because they’ve got nothing to lose if you say no. But most of us are not in this position. A failed marketing campaign is money, time and effort down the drain! Even worse, it can hurt your brand.

Are you trying to force your way in with your marketing? Are you trying to bulldoze into people’s lives – or offices? Stop doing it. Successful marketing goes with the grain, not against it. It offers the kind of information that people want to know and want to share with others because it adds value.

If you struggle to get your message across, maybe start by asking: what value am I offering and who would love to know about this? Who would take your call, read your brochure or spend time on your website without you having to beg for it? Take note, this is different from asking: who do you ultimately want to sell to?

Start by marketing to the people who are willing to listen and make sure that they understand what you offer. From that point on, the laws of nature will take over. If your message holds value then people will talk to others and spread the word. True value is like water on a mountain top – it naturally finds its way down to the ocean, to where it belongs.

Stop banging your head against the door of the CEO or head buyer or any other all-powerful person. Aim your marketing at the people who are available to listen, and make sure they love what you say. Empower them with the necessary information to kickstart the flow of information to the ultimate decision maker.

In our house, the best way to convince me to buy something is to convince my wife!